When Dave Left

I'll never forget Elena calling after Dave filed for divorce and got his own place.  She called because she was afraid of being alone in her house and she asked if I would come over for at least a little while.

I went over and she was emotionally exhausted.  Everything was changing and Dave left no food in her fridge.  I think she had a couple of hot dogs and condiments and literally nothing else.

She got tired and I said, "sleep!" with a smile.  When she fell asleep I did some work around her kitchen and then I quietly went home.

This is the video I put on my facebook the day I learned that she had died from the Statesman Journal, as a memory of this moment.  It's from my favorite tv show, where the lead character gains a younger girlfriend who is originally from Russia.

My Statement During the Sentencing

(This is what I said to the court on behalf of Elena.)

Elena didn't deserve what you did. I feel like what you have done is manipulative. Remember the day you filed for divorce and you and I talked on the phone about it? Instead of talking about divorce, you were doing all you could to see her deported. I said, "You can't just make a person disappear, Dave."

It doesn't work that way. Elena has rights. I read your divorce paperwork which said you were going to pay her no alimony even though by international law you owe her that, I found out. And you were going to charge all your attorney fees to her. But Elena has rights. I am not sure that you ever understood that.

Elena was a wonderful person who was fun and simple and truly caring for other people. She wasn't perfect, and through time for a reason I cannot understand, her condition worsened. But our bond went very deep, deeper than most anyone I've befriended in a particular way. We both had abuse in our past, and I couldn't help but connect at that level with her. She would never stand up for her rights. I don't know if it's cultural or not. So I was only a few steps ahead of her, helping her with this.

I cannot tell you how much it meant to me to find lawyers who would take her case as unusual as her circumstances were. I thought once she got the legal help she needed, the truth would come out and she would be safe. But you stole that from us all. You made plans to harm her and frame her, you say. So in a sense, you had your way. You have made her disappear as you always wanted, but I will tell you, you did not win.

Let's discern this soberly. Satan comes to kill. God comes to us to give life and give it abundantly. Whatever it has been in other times in your life, it has been Satan who has been at work through you regarding Elena, not God. "In this the children of God and the children of the Devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. For this is the message you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, not as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in Him." 1 John 3:10-11,15.

This is why you did not win. With all your plans to harm my friend, other forces were at play. Servants of God are those who serve life and rights to all men, freedom, and the truth. I think of Glennis, and his shepherding care for her. I think of the Women's Crisis Center, who walked her road with her. Her immigration lawyer. I think of Jack and Lindsay and her other lawyers present today. I think of Doris, and the servants at your church who told her the gospel and were confident she accepted it. We served her life and life more abundantly, more securely; we served you too - both of you. Doris even knew at the end as did I, that she accepted the gospel of salvation through Christ at least in our last moments together if not in the beginning of her time here. We are honored and humbled to serve our God.

Elena is a star. She is shining brightly as a full-fledged citizen. Of which country? Her rights of citizenship belong in the Kingdom that goes on forever. She didn't have to measure up to any standards to belong there. She simply accepted the Son of God and in this way, she perfectly fulfills the expectations of the King, and is a shining example of how to do things right. Remember that God said, the first will be last, and the last first? She is a trophy of God's grace - that He gives it so lavishingly on the ungodly. There are no wounds she holds, there are no imperfections she bears. She is an usher of the beautiful grace of God, set in a central place for all to behold.

Dave, can you accept such a place? Do you want to be a citizen of that kingdom, if it means you will forever have to bear the bright light of Elena? Are you willing to come to terms with Elena in heaven, sitting close to God? Can you accept a God and a system of rights where our Savior acts differently than you have, and positions His grace in her? For all eternity she will inescapably be there.

I have told you the truth today because two weeks ago you still excused yourself. I genuinely long to see you turn from what you have served and serve the true God - this God - who also died for you and accepts you this simply as well, if you would simply accept Him. Finally I suggest: accept the lavish grace of God, and serve Him in true righteousness.

As for me, and as for Elena's friends and family, we are well under way. Our choices are just a foretaste of God's plans. She is not disappeared, to us. Her father Nicholai said to me so many times, "Do not forget Elena." Remember her. Several of us have written a blog to remember her. My friends are going to take the restitution money you will be giving to them to make a donation to Simonka House in memory of Elena Eaton. She is my friend, she is my friend, and she will always be my friend. I am proud to have known her. She was like a sister to me. And I love her very much. I still can't believe that she is gone.